I have finally gotten around to watching Whiplash and it was fairly enojoyable.
Although I agree that if you are to be extraordianry at most things it requires incredible dedication, there is no world where this extreme form of encouragement is the best option. I imagine with real professional atheletes and artists and whatever else you want to include there is a level of hardship you need to endure to continue to be improve. However, in the context of when a person is most likely to hear phrases like "Good Job", it is probably in everyday life where there are no stakes. The most extreme form of coaching that a normal person will ever have is the education system or work, and in either case there is no expectation for you to become a world-beater. So, for as much as platitudes may seem like settling for mediocrity, for the average person that is probably just fine.
I do understand the desire to have a 'Fletcher' though. The idea that there is someone who has implicit faith in your ability and will do anything to bring it out can be comforting. However, I can also see it being the case that a person finds it easier to accept that they are not great because they haven't been put through such awful conditions rather than face the reality that they do not have the personal drive or talent to achieve such heights. As much as I believe that most people will be fairly unremarkable, I also believe that everyone can be fairly good at at least one thing provided they have sufficient passion but maybe not 'a great.'
A slightly more negative take on this, but I do understand the idea of wanting a 'Fletcher.'
Shake
Thanks for writing your posts. They're enjoyable to read and always inspire some introspection.
I empathise with the latent desire for greatness strongly but I don't think I could ever believe in a "Fletcher" in my life; at least not one that I didn't construct.
To desire this kind of recognition from an external source is to believe that they are earnest in their desire to raise you to greatness; that they are some kind of daemon bearing an otherworldly guidance to bring you to your peak. I don't believe this sort of perfect tough love exists, and so I do my best not to want it.
When confronted with Fletcher's ideology in particular, I can't help but look at the insecurity it presents. Believing that this sacrifice is the only path to true greatness is the same as believing that nobody else could ever not need it. "The ends justify the means" is a bitter pill to swallow, but it's a comforting safety net for the one prescribing it.
This is not to say that it's entirely without merit. There's probably some element of truth to it for everyone, but I definitely don't think it's the only truth on the path to one's peak. Fletcher might do well in "nurturing your greatness", but he is certainly no daemon.
I could probably churn up more incoherent thoughts but I'll stop here; this comment is getting really long and I'm being a massive hypocrite, talking like this when I'm stuck in my own mire of complacency. Thanks again for writing your post. "Good Job".
Webb
I'm definitely a good job-cel. I think if someone berated me into being good at something I would probably quit.
I am also a classically trained musician and my parents tried a lot of methods to get me to practice at home from gold star charts and rewards to persistent reminders and disappointment but I think they never stooped to punishment of any kind if I didn't. The consequences of my actions would always just be underperformance in the examinations. Similarly most of the musicians I know who have gone on to greater success have not been subject to this sort of abuse - they had a love of the game that motivated them to grind, working outside of school in recording studios to learn from pros, gigging in pubs they were too young to be served in. I didn't know anyone with a fletcher-esque mentor but all the classically trained musicians I know from that time who were pushed harder in their childhoods haven't touched their instruments in a while. Relying on someone external to torture the greatness out of you feels like taking the easy way out, even if the moment to moment can be hellish, because a lot of the decision-making is taken away from you, and if you fail (as probably most do) you can blame the demon who broke you.
Motivation is a crazy beast though I do not have the mettle to contend with my brain sometimes. I do agree that you can't be entirely rainbows and sunshine because that too probably leads to complacency and then greater tumbles at any sign of adversity. Gifted child syndrome is something people often talk about where they cruise through school without building up a real work ethic because the work is not hard enough and everyone goes "wow you're a genius" then you get to
One easy example of my response to this sort of feedback I can think of is counter strike - a lot of people seem to subscribe to the tough love idea of imparting feedback via angrily or in an exasperated fashion while sighing (although its definitely somewhat fueled by heat of the moment emotions) but anytime anyone ever tells me what I've done wrong immediately after I've done it it makes me want to teamkill them in spawn and play a different game that's more fun. Most of the time if I do something wrong its either too complex for me to understand in the 10 seconds of freeze time until the next round (positioning or some sort of map awareness) or extremely trivial and obvious and I already feel bad about doing it (losing a gunfight by missing my bullets, not hearing a call, being too far away because I realised something too late) and in neither of those scenarios does it make me play better if someone reminds me of this while I'm already ruminating. This isn't entirely accurate because I'm not aspiring for greatness in counter strike I'm just trying to get goofy kills. If we lose a game 1-13 and I got a cool round and someone was like "nice one barold" then I am usually a lot happier than a close win where everyone was tense and complaining in the lost rounds. It's probably vaguely hypocritical as I'm sure I've complained about what someone did as well but I do try not to.
I could probably do a whole post on my mindsets to avoid tilting but I don't know how well I could articulate it. Webb the ending of your discussion was funny so I will be stealing it. Good Job.
barold