Some more optimistic readers might consider all this to be somewhat of a good motivator as a silver lining. Excel, be brilliant, be seen, speak up. Carve a path for other women. Fight the good fight. And I see your point. Other women are all we’ve got as there’s only so much you can do for The Female Experience™ if you haven’t lived it. But I didn’t sign up to be the fucking Joan of Arc of programming. I’m out.

I don’t care any more. It’s an unwinnable system. I just wanna write cool code, man. That was the whole point of this career path. If I say it enough it will be true. I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care.

I feel this on a personal level after involuntarily being signed up to be the joan of arc of trans women in football. It feels great for a bit to think you're making a difference until it turns out that the people listening to you decided to ignore all your input anyway. The system is sometimes unwinnable and I care a lot and it sucks because I have already been humiliated attempting to change it. It's exhausting and not wanting to do it is absolutely the right choice. Fighting for change is not for everyone because it really fucking sucks and the only way to surivive it is by being a very convinced idealist with infinite motivation (most people aren't). You don't care. I don't care anymore either. Godspeed.

-Tuv