Women Shouldn't Go Into Engineering
Cue Sofia. Eighteen, bright eyes, off to study computer science. She’d always liked techy stuff – a bit of soldering here, a PC or mechanical keyboard build there, and more than a few hours lost to video games along the way. Engineering felt like the sensible adult version of that, with the bonus of solid pay and job security. Sexism wasn’t real any more in the 21st century; in this day and age competence spoke for itself!
Fast forward a few years, an internship, and a grown up job. Apparently competence is negotiable if you don’t have a Y chromosome.
It’s so fucking devaluing to have invested time and thought into explaining in a stand-up why my code isn’t working and why I believe it’s a broader issue with CI rather than my code. And the moment that last bit comes out of my mouth, someone quips back with “that’s what everyone says” with no interest in what I had actually stated. And the whole room (of men) laughs and just like that any merit to what I said gets wiped. I hear you furiously typing in the discussion section – “they would have said that to anyone!!!” and cool, yeah, I can’t disprove that other than with my own anecdotal experience of working with this person that I simply cannot imagine them being so dismissive to literally any male member of the team. You shall simply have to take my word for it. And for the record, the bug was indeed not my fault, thank you very much.
That’s not the only jab I’ve had made at me by this particular joy to be around either. Months later, in a jovial yet condescending tone, my account of work gets met with a “I sure hope the tests aren’t passing because it’s broken”. What on earth are you on about? That bit you’re referring to isn’t what I’m working on and you know it. This gets met with a smaller chuckle, but more uncomfortable, as at least one or two people know this was out of order. Not that it stops it being another point against my competence to most of the room who take the swipe at face value. Apparently this person was even reprimanded about their statement later on – not that I ever received an apology, of course.
You sometimes see the stereotypical thing of women being cut off mid statement, and I can assure you that’s real as well. I was literally in the middle of a damn word and got cut off by someone approaching with tidings clearly more important than the technical details I was explaining. Naturally the colleague I was explaining it to instantly switched context to the other statement though. What I have to say has no relevance any more (even though you’re the one who asked).
Just in case you’re in doubt, I’m not exactly having a great time in general outside of these anecdotes either. Oh, there’s a new bit of responsibility on this project that someone needs to take on? Perhaps more than one person needs to know how to do something? I can do that, look, I’ve got time, I’m here, I’m more than happy to learn! And then the bearer of this exciting task beelines towards literally anyone else in the room, as if I were invisible and expressed no interest whatsoever. I’m really interested in why, though I don’t really ever expect to get an answer to this. I guess I just… don’t come across as equally competent?1
It’s fine, here’s a new project. A fresh start, where we are all on equal footing! Annnnd I’m just not invited to the planning meeting I guess. It’s fine, I’ll ask nicely, add a smile emoji to not seem too abrasive, but make a point that I’m on the project. Cue the meeting and I can’t even get a single word in. Many such meetings in these two years. Any questions are directed towards anyone but me. I’m like a piece of furniture in the room. And sure, I’m supposed to be leading a team of two here, but that’s quite difficult when despite me giving you the tasks you need to do, you then do your own thing, consulting anyone but me along the way. The self-fulfilling cycle where I now look like I don’t have a handle on things begins.
The final nail in the coffin that made me decide not giving a fuck was the only way through was promotion season July 2025. I was all set. My generally disengaged line manager affirmed that I was well on track during my annual review, and I felt that I had ticked all the boxes. Wait! Don’t be silly! Those boxes aren’t for you! I am dead convinced that a male colleague in my position would have been promoted, no questions asked, but alas it was not to be for me. Or for the other two people who weren’t promoted in my cohort. Both women. What a coincidence! This would never usually happen.2
Let’s elaborate on that a bit. The promotion to senior at CC is basically free. People are generally mindful of giving junior colleagues a taste of responsibility and a bit of ownership. And indeed, I was told on multiple occasions that I was the long-term owner of the web UI on this project. They must have just missed that little detail on the promotion form. I put up with the React slop mines for this. It’s obviously hard mode to take ownership of the one component that literally everyone on the project believes they have a divine right to opine on. Nobody cares about the network stack or some such but my god would it be criminal if you missed your opportunity to comment on the colour of the buttons! I tolerated yet another meeting where there was no room for me to speak on account of the two tech leads reflexively disagreeing with one another all meeting as per tradition. (Why was the hardware tech lead even in this meeting?) Spent several months answering to the whims of all who commented on the UI, believing it might all be worth it. Nah. Never doing React again.
It was noted to me that actually ownership means I am actively telling people what to do and leading them. This is news to me, as I have witnessed people get promoted for what any normal person might consider ownership – being the main developer on a bit of content. Hey, did you know that in situations like this men get assessed on their potential and woman get assessed on their past achievements?3 It came to light that unlike male colleagues past, I needed an absolutely iron-clad promotion case. I must absolutely prove that I have already done all of these things in the senior job description while still a junior, lest I turn out to be totally incompetent all of a sudden. I’ve seen people properly lead teams of two to get to principal (and not even! I’ve seen people plan to lead teams of two to get to principal) but here I am slogging through this bullshit just for senior. Oh yeah, and I was told I might not even actually get promoted at Christmas. Cool.
At least I’m good for being a diversity plant. We have a load of new female interns coming in and I am wanted for once, not for anything technical, for that would not be my place, but to exist and be female. Great, I guess. You asked in good faith so I shall act in good faith. I’m too tired to argue anyway.
Many people at CC probably see themselves as the absolute paragon of supporting women in engineering. Look, I hired one! Don’t need to do anything now, I got my diversity points. A recent company survey showed that some absurd number (don’t recall; >80%) believe that we excel at diversity, equality, and inclusion. Aww, I’m glad the Cambridge old boys club which forms the majority of this workplace feels so included! This result is actually quite a damning statement that things won’t change though. If you can’t even appreciate that maybe there is some sort of problematic bias here, then you won’t ever bother doing anything to fix it. And so it goes on.
Dear reader, you may be a little nervous at this point that I am mad at you, or frustrated with you, and you may be feeling somewhat attacked. Rest assured, I am merely taking this chance to whine. Stay vibing. I don’t want your lives to be harder. I just want mine to be a bit easier. If I, a mediocre woman, could make my way up the ladder the same way many mediocre men have for centuries, I would be so content!
Some more optimistic readers might consider all this to be somewhat of a good motivator as a silver lining. Excel, be brilliant, be seen, speak up. Carve a path for other women. Fight the good fight. And I see your point. Other women are all we’ve got as there’s only so much you can do for The Female Experience™ if you haven’t lived it. But I didn’t sign up to be the fucking Joan of Arc of programming. I’m out.
I don’t care any more. It’s an unwinnable system. I just wanna write cool code, man. That was the whole point of this career path. If I say it enough it will be true. I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care.
Being perpetually junior isn’t so bad. I’m cheap enough to work on anything so I have many opportunities and can say no to the lameass projects. The salary is enough to get by on.
I don’t care.
I don’t care.
I don’t care.
At least I don’t owe anyone anything. Chances are, if I did progress in my career, someone would perceive this as me owing them some massive favour for helping me out so much.
I don’t care.
I don’t care.
I DON’T CARE.
I shall turn up, do my hours, go home. Eke out what enjoyment I can. Sell out and find a nice job in finance when I have more experience. This isn’t the company to go to if you really want money anyway.
I DON’T CARE.
I need to keep going anyway. Not like I have a choice. Work to live, don’t live to work. Find the joy you can. Enjoy the social life. Enjoy the free bar and free lunch. It could be worse. Put the blinders on and keep walking straight and it’ll all feel vaguely alright. Alright enough to keep going.
I wish I’d become a pilot or something. That would’ve been cool.
So yes, women shouldn’t go into engineering. Not because we can’t but because the industry makes it so much harder than it needs to be. And it’s awfully tiring to constantly try and be exceptional just to be treated as average. Either find part of role that you can do for the sheer love of the game and ignore the career progression, or go find another source of money and keep your hobbies fun.