Short Poem: Feel/Part 1

I remember what it feels like to feel
To have excitement at prospects
Or a passion for pointless ideals
To be outspoken as everyone expects

Slowly, my glass turns half empty
With my pulse cursed to always be steady
Feeling with my brain first, hoping my heart follows
Willing for my veins to burst, but all my blood runs hollow

With every emotional cue, my body has stage fright
Like I know my lines, but no delivery feels right
Nothing I say would be genuine
But yet I refuse to live a life on medicine

And over time,
Excitement weathered by reality
Passion dulled by responsibility
Laughter drowned by expectation
Anger muffled by condemnation

I seek solace in the comfort of pain
Never self inflict, but never hesitate for any gain
And for times where my feelings are in shortfall
The glass is only half full when the first half was alcohol

Origin: Gorinchem
Author: C.E.
Description: Sad, kinda cringe, I like it